My therapist told me he was hoping this can be, even if just kind of, like a mini vacation from all my responsibilities. (We’ve just been talking in sessions about how I need a break and some space in life ; ) I am always wary of what I wish for!!! If this is vacation, this is a destination in a little corner of hell I do not foresee myself wanting to visit again anytime. I would finish that sentence up with “anytime soon.” But I’m sure I’m never going to want to return to this place. EVER.
What you see here (above) is an abstraction of a rather large hematoma (except I don’t know if this was actually a hematoma as I’ve read it described…there was no clotting going on. It was, in fact, profuse internal bleeding! I think they called it a hematoma so I wouldn’t die on them on-the-spot.) I acquired as a parting gift from a small surgical procedure I had on Thursday. A couple little blood vessels called arteries! got loose and had their way with me. It required some quick emergency surgery to round-up and zap the boogers into submission, so I’ve been slightly set back on my spastic project line-up! I’ve basically been in bed lying low since Thursday evening.
And just a little tidbit I learned: If a doctor ever says to you, “This might feel funny and “tickle” a bit, you can be pretty sure it’s going to hurt like hell. Surgery with the smallest amount of local possible is not really something I was looking to add to my toolbox of experiences to express in art!
I was told my risk factor for this experience was, out of 100%…. half of a percent. (.5%).
Clearly, proof that I defy the odds.
Let’s have the next defiance be a little more in my favor, can we?
I am not a very good mattress dweller. I’m not supposed to be raising my blood pressure too much for the next week, so I have to stay somewhat detached from all the excitement elsewhere in the house.
But I actually have slept a lot. Dozing here and there, waking up every once in a while to peruse Pinterest or read an art book or watch an instructional DVD. And of course, in the evenings, I’m still getting my fix of Breaking Bad! So it hasn’t actually been all, well…bad. A mini-vacation after-all, maybe. Nothing a little Valium can’t complete.
And today I actually found some energy to play around with my new Photoshop App on my iPhone. I’m not sure if I like it better than Instagram’s selections, or if I just haven’t figured out how best use different apps for the effects I want. I’m definitely in at a pre-K level, doodling and drawing accidental circles and squares and sometimes thinking they’re pretty awesome.
I have NO IDEA what I’m doing! There is a certain freedom in that, I guess. But the results may be something only a very good mother could love! Once I’m back on my feet I’m sure I’ll drive myself crazy until I understand all the functions better.
As far as my painting goes…I may be dancing around in the same realm as Photoshop. I haven’t actually painted in several years. It used to be my main love. I’ve actually just come out of a dry spell and if you’re familiar with monsoon seasons, that might give you an idea of where I’m at with my creativity. It’s coming in humongous downpours, but the drainage system that directs the flow might not be entirely sufficient. These bursts may lead to some messes before it all starts to sink in and some grass starts to grow and flowers bloom.
I’m just rolling with the journey…(and trying not to totally roll into the sewer, even though I feel pretty poopy at the moment.) (Forgive me!) I’m so out-of-sorts.
Luckily, I do have some comfort in the midst of this wild process. My old cat, Sammy.
Oh, Sammy-Sammers…Old Faithful I call him. He’s been through the last decade with me through many storms… divorce, loves, breakups, hospital stays, new marriage, new jobs, loss of jobs, new baby and too many moves to count.
He stays by my side through everything, even when he’s been cast off and lovingly tossed across the room in a hormonal moment. He always, always loves me. Or at least he loves how warm and cozy I am to snuggle up against…and my pillow. But whatever, I’m just going to believe that he loves me because I’m just that cool! (And definitely not just because I feed him well and keep his water bowl fresh.)
So when I went in the basement to paint (and get started on my new painting class which I’m going to go into more detail about one of these days when I’m feeling like I’m actually more in the process of it) it should have come as no surprise to me that he was my eager mascot. It was just like old times. Oh, I do love him! He’s not really a cat to me, even. I have known for a long time that he is a reincarnated superhero especially for me. ; )
Since I’ve been laid up, and since unidentifiable, abstract photos of large hematomas are not all that bloggable (even though I blogged it anyway) I thought I’d share some photos from earlier in the week when I was a lot more “me”, painting in my studio with my faithful friend, Sammy…until I can get back to my more “normal” self…SOON 🙂
Ps. You’ll see I also have a white cat named Jack. His nickname is Houdini…He slips into the scene every once in a while.