This is a project I’ve been working on almost all semester. I think it’s been through the kiln 5 times for different processes. It’s experienced some experiments and some hardship. The lid has been cracked (and fixed) once (fell off my project shelf) and it’s had a bit too heavy an application of copper oxide for my liking. The egg no longer looks like it goes with it’s “nest” and the thing is starting to look overdone. I’m not happy with it now, so I’m thinking of just throwing as many things as possible at it to see if I can miraculously bring it back to life. I don’t know what else to do with it at this point. It’s one of those projects that starts out with a lot of promise, but in the end is a big disappointment. I kind of want to throw it at a wall. It’s a “learning” piece, but I didn’t want it to be a learning piece. I wanted it to do what I wanted it to do, and it’s not doing what I want it to. I’m frustrated with it and starting to be embarrassed by it. But I will keep throwing things at it until I just can’t take it anymore and throw it, itself.
There are only a handful of weeks left for this semester until all of our “wet work” has to be completed and the kiln is going at full tilt to get everyone’s projects fired for grades. I have other projects I’m working on currently, and at least one project I’m pretty happy with that is complete with another cool one in the wings. Then there’s the wheel thrown stuff that is somehow miraculously working out. But this is the one I’m showcasing because it’s the one that’s been the most emotional, so far. The most “unsuccessful.” The most troubling.
This is the one that feels so totally out of control, and the one that at some points I have tried to control the most. Because I’m looking for an outcome. Because I had a finished picture in mind somewhere along the way. And I am not happy because this is not it. I have quit feeling enjoyment while I am working on it. Will I be able to reclaim my joy with it? Can it be redeemed? Can it survive? Can it become good again?