I have already written this post several times in my head tonight, so forgive me if it doesn’t seem fresh. If it helps at all I still don’t really know what I’m going to say. I often feel that way, and not just here or when I’m writing. It’s just me being typical me. And being me, typically, gets me in trouble sometimes.
I’m hoping this isn’t one of those times though. I’m never actually wanting to get myself into trouble. (Usually.)
I’m surprised I’m seeming so chipper because I’ve actually been feeling more on the blue side. I apologize if what I’m offering here is all really a defense mechanism against feeling sad.
Despite (or because of) feeling a lot of feelings lately, I have been super busy.
And just the other night realized I’ve completed several projects that I’ve talked about here and haven’t had a chance to share the results. I guess that might say something about my focus. My favorite part of any project is the process of it. I’m always happy to complete something and actually getting something done is one of my strongest motivations, but I’m more of an experiencer. It’s the “problem solver” part of me. For instance, if I’m building something and it collapses under the weight of the drill I’m excited for the challenge it presents. Even if the “F” bomb does slip out first…we don’t have to actually tell that part, right? ha.
Anyway…Since I’m playing catch-up here I’m going to post a couple of 2 for 1 pics….
My first sewing project EVER! (Because the gym bag that mean home ec teacher forced me to make in 7th grade doesn’t count.)
I finally finished my sweet stuffed cat with a likeness to me! I posted about her several weeks ago when she was still turned every which way and outside-in.
She survived her insides coming out!
My sewing teacher did help me get her where she needed to be though. She said she was good at getting that done because she had birthed big babies. By the time I was ready to stuff the poor girl there wasn’t a lot of breathing room at the opening.
You might notice she’s a friendly, sociable cat, and not too afraid to enjoy life too. She is perpetually waving her hand in the air “like she just don’t care,” because I made her that way. (Which means I had to detach and affix her arm in the finishing stages due to an error and her character comes from overcoming that obstacle.)
So here she is…and she’s sitting on top of the rolling storage cart I completed last week!
What do you think?
2 for 1: cat and storage cart creation
So this brings me to the storage cart creation!
My storage cart also gets its character due to some less-than-perfect conditions in its lifetime! Imagine that.
Originally, there was no staggering planned. (That’s what they all say, right.) And I didn’t have a single beer the whole time I was making this thing.
But as the actual building proceeded it was clear that my measurements weren’t exactly exact. So I improvised! Hence, the staggered stacking of the layered shelving units.
In the end I think the cart looks reminiscent of a beehive box and that makes me pretty happy. Although, I think beehive boxes are a little more square….
I thought I’d include a few more views of my storage cart so you can look at it to make one of your own if you want (and stagger the boxes purposefully.) Or message me and I’ll make one for you and for the low price of $1,000 shipping and handling I’m make one for you and ship it, imperfectly finished and all, straight to your door. (This thing is no lightweight and can hold its own…and should last a million years.)
In further developments I also finished my “flower painting.” I put it in quotations because it also turned into something a little different from anticipated.
I said in my last post that I would post pictures of it and I am all about the follow-thru, so here it is.
Not all it was to become…When the flower painting was still a flower
I figured I would start where we left off….
The following photos show the process from this point to its end/beginning…
etching “love me” (request)
etchings…”dear flower” (sound familiar?) and “VOICE”
white covering the stigma (center) of the flower
Painting marks on the canvas as an expression of “listening” …simply looking and responding with attention and care, not knowing the details (the whys, the what fors, or what’s this going to get me?)
In hindsight, I think this might have been where I could have stopped…maybe…maybe my next word should be “trust” and “listen even more”
adding in (and covering over) black…and pink
turning the canvas, adding blue and orange
working on bird
final bird close-up
In the end I am not too sure if I exactly love my “flower painting.”
BUT…what I love about the process of my flower painting is that I didn’t stop. I didn’t give up on it. And I learned a lot through working on it. I do feel that where I chose to stop is a better spot than where I started from and through all the layers and all the restarts and false finishes I stayed with it.
I GREW from it….
and my stem is reaching just a tad bit higher toward the light for it.
It did wear me out too, though. And I’m a bit wore out now! And I’ve told my therapist I’m working on getting to sleep at a half-way decent hour. (and it’s 1:33am now…actually early for me! 😉 Supposedly sleep helps people function better, but whatever. What do neuroscientist know!? ha 😉
I guess this leaves me little time for reflections and commentary on the flower painting process, but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to it. I’m sure I’ll be talking more about the stuff that comes up for me while I’m painting as I post more of my paintings though, so why attempt to tire myself of it now, anyway…
I was actually planning on working on a rather large developing painting tonight (with a certain exciting image from last weeks photos in it,) but that’s out too now, I’m realizing…
Doctor’s orders say I must sleep to dream…so this is it for now.
There is actually even more going on and more updates to fill you in on, so the plan is to be back before another week passes me by!
More paintings, more photos, more life and more light to come! 🙂
Sadly, I have not been spending many hours trying to figure out Photoshop, or even messing around with Instagram. BUT, I have been busy working!
Yesterday my “night job” duties (the time after my daughter goes to bed for the night) consisted of painting the basement….because! Because it’s in the process of transforming into my studio! Yay!
I’m so excited to have a designated place that might be large enough to become a holding place for the art I crave to do. I have a lot of plans for it, but mostly the plans are open and evolving as I speak. I think I have an area picked out for metalworking and another corner space picked for painting…
It’s exciting to think about, but for now my most used studio supply is elbow grease!
Speaking of, I better get back to it since my daughter is down for nap and time does not hold back!
I don’t have a lot of words today. I guess it’s more about a relationship with where words come from.
Control, Option, Command
Delete, Enter, Return
Shift, Function, Control
For some reason these keys just connect with me right now. I took these photos last night, initially by accident, when I was busy editing some other photos. My iPhone’s camera opened up and staring at me were the “Command / Option” keys on my camera screen….They were/are right where I am. I went exploring around my keyboard a bit and found there were a lot more clue keys about either where I am…or where I have been… at my fingertips.
There is something about creating that helps me feel complete. It doesn’t always even matter what form the creation takes. Whether it’s making a meal or cake, assembling together found objects or piecing together fabrics…or turning a bit of what has been a place of darkness in my life into something with more light.
The thing about creation is that it seems to follow you everywhere. That’s what is so awesome about being alive. For me, when I’m able to connect to creation in all its varied forms, it makes living feel ok. When I can open my eyes…when I am brave…light is everywhere in my life.
And I’m safe to feel.
This weekend I finally was able to complete a shelf I’ve been in the process of making for the last several weeks. My projects still take 10 times as long as they potentially could due to all the creating I do as a mother. So, when something outside of my time creating as a mom is finished it gives me quite a rewarding feeling of accomplishment!
I’ve wanted a shelf for above our bed since we moved into this house. It’s super simple construction, but simple and clean is what I was going for. Well, simple and affordable really. ; ) I had fun making it and I love all the little trips to the hardware store that even the teeniest projects (especially the building/woodworking kind) seem to inspire/require.
I LOVE hardware stores!
Here it is!
By the way, I picked up those metal letters on HUGE sale at Hobby Lobby. I know they have good sales pretty often, so if you like them and want something similar, or to spell out your own word, I’d check in there and wait around a bit for one to come around! It’s like Pottery Barn on the a la’ cheap. So you can make the furniture at home, all the while getting a bonus “creation high,” and pick up the accessories for a fair price!
I’m so excited to share someone else’s art that has influenced my life deeply today!
I started listening to Alanis Morissette in my early 20’s. I remember belting out her songs in my make-shift garage studio/office where I painted into the early morning hours when my first daughter was just a toddler, thoroughly enjoying myself even though I couldn’t hold a note. What mattered was that I had the freedom to sing! My (now EX) husband worked 3rd shift which meant it was just me and music and art in those solemn hours between 11pm and 7am. It wasn’t Alanis’ popular “Jagged Little Pill” that did it for me. I really loved “Under Rug Swept.” I think I connected with every song on that album in some way, but there were a few that I blasted out on repeat. One of them was “Utopia” and another was “21 Things I Want in a Lover.” I divorced my husband in 2002…and I can’t say for sure, but maybe these two songs, in particular, had something to do with me coming to a point where I chose to face the world on my own…without him.
There is a lot of art I could create about my relationship with my ex-husband, but that’s not where my focus is today….
TODAY…it’s about the present.
I have watched and waited for years for Alanis to release a new album. And I have been hopeful that when she did I would once again be gifted with music that reached into my life and being. Music that I could belt out at 2am that would help me get to “morning.”
So I’m ecstatic to share that she’s done it again!
She’s one of my “Liked” artists on Facebook, so I’ve known a while that she’s been working on stuff through status updates on her page. I have been hoping, hoping, HOPING that my voice could return with her in her new release to the place I had been with her in my 20’s, but in relation to the environment I am creating at this point in my life…this present time.
I eagerly listened to the single the moment I saw it was out…titled “Guardian”
I listened to and read the lyrics…”yes, yes…yes! ” I thought! I got this!
And then Alanis posted this clip about her inspiration…..!!
And yeah, I’m pretty sure she didn’t write this song just for me, but if I saw her in person I think I’d say to Alanis “Hey sister, thanks for writing this for me!” : P Like, somehow our hearts and brains are intergalactically linked and as she was writing she was thinking of me even if she didn’t know it.
Really good musicians can selectively have this connection with their fans, right? : ) So thanks, Alanis, for choosing me to have your connection with this time.
Oh…oh oh oh! And get this! You won’t believe what her new album to be released in August is titled….ready for it!?
As promised, my photo of the day…from this day of Life With Light.
(I did not create this sign. ROCKART SIGNS & MARKERS created this sign, which I merely took a photo of to share my appreciation for it as a prompt along my journey. ROCKART and it’s subsidiaries are in no way connected to, nor do they endorse, the content of this blog.)
So, as promised…my image of the day!
I went on another walk with my daughter this afternoon…along the same path we walked yesterday. Again, I brought my phone and Instagram by default. We retraced yesterdays steps, (even though I was the only one actually walking,) and managed to come up with new material.
So, I considered my efforts a success.
It’s just so…so…Open..!
I am taken by this sign’s existence along the path I travel…