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My Art Therapy Journey

Posts tagged health

I’m so excited to share someone else’s art that has influenced my life deeply today!

I started listening to Alanis Morissette in my early 20’s. I remember belting out her songs in my make-shift garage studio/office where I painted into the early morning hours when my first daughter was just a toddler, thoroughly enjoying myself even though I couldn’t hold a note.  What mattered was that I had the freedom to sing!  My (now EX) husband worked 3rd shift which meant it was just me and music and art in those solemn hours between 11pm and 7am.   It wasn’t Alanis’ popular “Jagged Little Pill” that did it for me.  I really loved “Under Rug Swept.”    I think I connected with every song on that album in some way, but there were a few that I blasted out on repeat.  One of them was “Utopia” and another was “21 Things I Want in a Lover.”    I divorced my husband in 2002…and I can’t say for sure, but maybe these two songs, in particular, had something to do with me coming to a point where I chose to face the world on my own…without him.

There is a lot of art I could create about my relationship with my ex-husband, but that’s not where my focus is today….

TODAY…it’s about the present.

I have watched and waited for years for Alanis to release a new album.  And I have been hopeful that when she did I would once again be gifted with music that reached into my life and being.  Music that I could belt out at 2am that would help me get to “morning.”

So I’m ecstatic to share that she’s done it again!

She’s one of my “Liked” artists on Facebook, so I’ve known a while that she’s been working on stuff through status updates on her page.  I have been hoping, hoping, HOPING that my voice could return with her in her new release to the place I had been with her in my 20’s, but in relation to the environment I am creating at this point in my life…this present time.

I eagerly listened to the single the moment I saw it was out…titled “Guardian

Right on!

I listened to and read the lyrics…”yes, yes…yes! ” I thought!  I got this!

And then Alanis posted this clip about her inspiration…..!!

And yeah, I’m pretty sure she didn’t write this song just for me, but if I saw her in person I think I’d say to Alanis “Hey sister, thanks for writing this for me!”  : P  Like, somehow our hearts and brains are intergalactically linked and as she was writing she was thinking of me even if she didn’t know it.

Really good musicians can selectively have this connection with their fans, right? : )  So thanks, Alanis, for choosing me to have your connection with this time.

Oh…oh oh oh!  And get this!  You won’t believe what her new album to be released in August is titled….ready for it!?

“HAVOC AND BRIGHT LIGHTS”

 

I believe I need not say more 😉

 

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Nobody chooses a mental disorder.  If I could pick mine, I probably wouldn’t have the one I have.  And, I really don’t think anyone wakes up in the morning and says, “Hey!  I know what I want for today!  I want to special  order a nightmare of after-effects that are a result of abuse I’ve experienced in my life!”

No, I really don’t think that’s the way it goes.

Because I’ve been thinking lately, “Can we just be done now?”

I have to ride the wave, and sometimes it’s true…the wave is a great adventure.  “Great” is a very subjective term.

And some things about living with the brain altered experience of a formerly abused mind, body and spirit can be subjective too.  Such as, “How will I live this day of madness?”

There is some choice in how I live my days.  Sometimes there is even a lot of choice.  Sometimes making that choice comes with an enormous amount of pain and struggle…but, I don’t think the trouble with making  choices is reserved solely for people with a brain condition or someone living the effects of abuse.  (Although, it can certainly add an extra ounce of oomph to the process!…and at times call for extra support through a qualified and emotionally mature and plain ol’ good-hearted and kind therapist.)

That’s part of why I believe art therapy is such a universal part of living.  Art is so central to the human condition, not just conditions that provoke a person to cut off their ear.

I guess I’m trying to say a lot of things here.  I’m saying sometimes in life there are choices even within the place of no choice…for everyone.

Some days I choose to feel.  Some days I choose to not feel.  But the feelings are always there….I don’t think there’s a lot of choice about that.  Being human is like that.

For a long time I have chosen to not feel.  And for a while I made that choice, even if subconsciously, so I could survive all the feelings swarming around and through me.

I’m entering a new place.  I’d say it’s an in-between place.

There’s not a lot of words to this place yet.  I just hang on to the light and what it reveals…It seems like I am in the process of seeing a lot along my personal journey lately, although I can’t always quite make out what an image is.  Engaging in life through art has been a safe place for me to explore this unknown.

Today…I choose feeling.  I choose life.  I choose hope.  I choose light.

Thankfully, these things are making a home in my chest and not so much my brain.

Today I am brave, which is not always my natural condition, but is just as much part of the human condition as all the rest, none-the-less.

These photos are from a family walk at the park yesterday….

(Click on the image to view in a larger format on your screen.)