My therapist told me he was hoping this can be, even if just kind of, like a mini vacation from all my responsibilities. (We’ve just been talking in sessions about how I need a break and some space in life ; ) I am always wary of what I wish for!!! If this is vacation, this is a destination in a little corner of hell I do not foresee myself wanting to visit again anytime. I would finish that sentence up with “anytime soon.” But I’m sure I’m never going to want to return to this place. EVER.
What you see here (above) is an abstraction of a rather large hematoma (except I don’t know if this was actually a hematoma as I’ve read it described…there was no clotting going on. It was, in fact, profuse internal bleeding! I think they called it a hematoma so I wouldn’t die on them on-the-spot.) I acquired as a parting gift from a small surgical procedure I had on Thursday. A couple little blood vessels called arteries! got loose and had their way with me. It required some quick emergency surgery to round-up and zap the boogers into submission, so I’ve been slightly set back on my spastic project line-up! I’ve basically been in bed lying low since Thursday evening.
And just a little tidbit I learned: If a doctor ever says to you, “This might feel funny and “tickle” a bit, you can be pretty sure it’s going to hurt like hell. Surgery with the smallest amount of local possible is not really something I was looking to add to my toolbox of experiences to express in art!
I was told my risk factor for this experience was, out of 100%…. half of a percent. (.5%).
Clearly, proof that I defy the odds.
Let’s have the next defiance be a little more in my favor, can we?
I am not a very good mattress dweller. I’m not supposed to be raising my blood pressure too much for the next week, so I have to stay somewhat detached from all the excitement elsewhere in the house.
But I actually have slept a lot. Dozing here and there, waking up every once in a while to peruse Pinterest or read an art book or watch an instructional DVD. And of course, in the evenings, I’m still getting my fix of Breaking Bad! So it hasn’t actually been all, well…bad. A mini-vacation after-all, maybe. Nothing a little Valium can’t complete.
And today I actually found some energy to play around with my new Photoshop App on my iPhone. I’m not sure if I like it better than Instagram’s selections, or if I just haven’t figured out how best use different apps for the effects I want. I’m definitely in at a pre-K level, doodling and drawing accidental circles and squares and sometimes thinking they’re pretty awesome.
I have NO IDEA what I’m doing! There is a certain freedom in that, I guess. But the results may be something only a very good mother could love! Once I’m back on my feet I’m sure I’ll drive myself crazy until I understand all the functions better.
As far as my painting goes…I may be dancing around in the same realm as Photoshop. I haven’t actually painted in several years. It used to be my main love. I’ve actually just come out of a dry spell and if you’re familiar with monsoon seasons, that might give you an idea of where I’m at with my creativity. It’s coming in humongous downpours, but the drainage system that directs the flow might not be entirely sufficient. These bursts may lead to some messes before it all starts to sink in and some grass starts to grow and flowers bloom.
I’m just rolling with the journey…(and trying not to totally roll into the sewer, even though I feel pretty poopy at the moment.) (Forgive me!) I’m so out-of-sorts.
Luckily, I do have some comfort in the midst of this wild process. My old cat, Sammy.
Oh, Sammy-Sammers…Old Faithful I call him. He’s been through the last decade with me through many storms… divorce, loves, breakups, hospital stays, new marriage, new jobs, loss of jobs, new baby and too many moves to count.
He stays by my side through everything, even when he’s been cast off and lovingly tossed across the room in a hormonal moment. He always, always loves me. Or at least he loves how warm and cozy I am to snuggle up against…and my pillow. But whatever, I’m just going to believe that he loves me because I’m just that cool! (And definitely not just because I feed him well and keep his water bowl fresh.)
So when I went in the basement to paint (and get started on my new painting class which I’m going to go into more detail about one of these days when I’m feeling like I’m actually more in the process of it) it should have come as no surprise to me that he was my eager mascot. It was just like old times. Oh, I do love him! He’s not really a cat to me, even. I have known for a long time that he is a reincarnated superhero especially for me. ; )
Since I’ve been laid up, and since unidentifiable, abstract photos of large hematomas are not all that bloggable (even though I blogged it anyway) I thought I’d share some photos from earlier in the week when I was a lot more “me”, painting in my studio with my faithful friend, Sammy…until I can get back to my more “normal” self…SOON 🙂
Ps. You’ll see I also have a white cat named Jack. His nickname is Houdini…He slips into the scene every once in a while.
I’ve been pretty busy, but not too busy to think about Life With Light. In fact, I guess I’ve partly been busy because so much of my attention has turned to this “life with light.” Sometimes the days just seem to slip away…and the day becomes more like an inhabited friendly oasis rather than the harsh desert island I’ve been accustomed to in the past.
My Friendly Oasis on Wednesday
This week me and one of my best friends began a woodworking/building project together! You can see there are 2 sanding blocks there. We “turned our doing dials up a notch” ala Home Depot, lol. My friend gave me that line 🙂 She always makes me laugh. She’s the kind of friend I can laugh with and cry with in the same day…or even within the same minute. I count myself pretty lucky, fortunate, blessed… (take your mix n’ match of the assortment,) to have her in my life. We’ve known each other since we were kids…have been in each other’s weddings…that kind of friends. We’ve been through a lot together, even during times we were apart, often living sort of seemingly parallel lives.
So I have this to share…a great big burst of light in my my life if you ask me!
This week we bonded over the cut-off saw in my garage…
We got as far as sanding and painting these boards which I was pretty proud of! I’m hoping to work on the completion sometime this weekend. The weather outside looks good, so as long as the weather indoors stays as calm then I will hopefully have a storage cart on wheels by the time Monday rolls around…complete with victory pics to share! (Crossing fingers, toes, and a few hairs.)
If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll probably remember me talking about my euphoric discovery of Instagram and my reformation of the repugnance I once had for digital photography. You won’t believe what I’ve uncovered now! I am forever humbled. My former repugnance is regrettable.
Another thing that has had me busy this week is this!
And I was even more humbled when I learned there are even people who consider themselves to be iPhoneography Purists!? iPhone purists! I never knew!
I am SO SLOW.
My husband laughed at me because he tried to get me into digital when we were dating, but I would have nothing of it. I’m too embarrassed to even admit to the things I said about “lowly digital.” LOL. And now I’m begging him to go to Photoshop World with me! I have had to swallow some pretty big words and eat a lot of humble pie.
I haven’t actually even had the chance to experiment with any new apps. I was thinking Instagram was the schizz, but I guess there’s more out there to explore. haha.
It’s a bit hard to not have all the time in the world to traverse all these extraordinary ventures. These discoveries have kept my mind going at a good speed, which is necessary because I apparently I have a lot of catching up to do. But when it comes to all this newfangled stuff I have to approach my discoveries more as a section-hike and not a thru-hike for now…(hiker lingo) Oh…and just to think of all the photos that could be unearthed on this hike!
I cannot wait to dig into digital and see how I can pal around with it in the area of art therapy!
Patience will be a personal challenge on this one.
And an update on the rest of life…well, what is the rest of life anyway?
What if the rest of life was just like all the above…happy to be alive?
All Hail the King! I don’t know why I just said that other than I’m trying to refrain from saying OMG?
I just figured out that I can layer filters with Instagram! My night job (my night job playing around with photos I took earlier in the day with Instagram) just became a lot more loaded. Which means that with the knowledge of the power of layers I’ve just come across, I’m going to have to dedicate myself to learning Photoshop now because Instagram will be too small and slow to suffice. How did the world ever get by on no layers at all…and then one single layer…and then….as many layers as I can imagine?
This is what I get for being an “old school” snob about all this photography business. I completely deserve to not have known.
But now I know.
I wanted so much to not like digital. I was doing so good too, with getting all the way into the middle of 2012 carrying rejection of digital with me.
But now the world has changed. I’ve sunk ever closer to the big black hole of the digital darkroom…In fact, I’m running to it and slamming the door tight so nobody can disturb me here.
It’s going to take me a while to process this….
Layers….Filters and Layers, people. I’ve lived with them for years and nobody ever told me how cool they could be!
This will require the addition of several hours to each day for quite some time.
This will be a great way to explore filters and layers on the inside (of me.) But for now, the layer of me that made another recent discovery only a few days ago…a television series I discovered on Netflix called “Breaking Bad”…needs to go get that fix. I never actually watch TV either…but I’m doing that now too, apparently. And pretty happily so far, I might add. I’m going to go try to rot my brain quickly so I don’t get any more anxious about this.
Me and my daughter went on another photo-taking extravaganza today, and it’s final…I’m thinking of moving to Instagram. Because everything is cool in Instagram. I think my eyes have acquired Instagram lenses. I think in Instagram.
Now, I know I am a little behind the times. I know Instagram is probably old news to some people, but I, for one, sometimes find myself in losing battles, lol. Like…digital photography, for instance. I took a photography class in 2002 and learned how to do the “real deal” and vowed it was far too amazing of a world to cheapen it with instantcy. (Which I think might only be a word because I just made it be one.)
But now, well…look at me now.
Now, I am not only in favor of digital…but iPhone digital? And Instagram? Like a cheap, uneducated version of Photoshop!? Oh my goodness, I’m sure I’m offending someone right now. Am I? Omg. I’d like to make friends here!
Well, anyway, imagine I never offended you (if I’ve offended you) and imagine I just said…”I’m old school.” Because that’s what I really mean. I like to get my hands dirty, or in the case of photography…clean. I like to dip my hands in chemical and feel the rush of it right up into the cells of my brain and then wash it all away with water and watch things transform in my hands. I probably have some kind of God complex. Is there such a thing known to exist? I mean, there is something SO powerfully wonderful about creation.
I’m not saying digital isn’t creation and isn’t wonderful. It is! I even want to live in Instagram, for goodness sake.
I think I’ve said enough.
On with the show!
(Note: Many of these photos tell a story or have a string of words behind them, so they may reappear at a later date with more to say here. For now, we’re doing good (and I’m so grateful) to have the time to get this far! : ) …But, until I’m back with my stories, feel free to use these photos as prompts for your own! 🙂 (After all, I don’t want to keep my God complex all for myself.)