I wish I could take credit for my post title…but I found this lovely poem by Wendell Berry tonight, put to music by a band named Crooked Still. I’m always grateful when someone else can put words (and music along with them is a major bonus) to how I feel. I’m beginning to feel “The Peace of Wild Things” in my life.
Everyday, almost all day, I have thought about Life With Light. This place here…this blog, and what I share within it…my life. The journey here and the journey of my breath from inside out and in again. Such a journey to really live, isn’t it? And then to have your breath out there for others to potentially take into themselves. Crazy.
The photo above is of a little butterfly pin/brooch I found at an estate sale this weekend. It’s amazing how things can take you right back in time to a place you thought was dead. This pin immediately took me to my mother who I remembered had a pin just like this, only in blue (this one is oranges and warm colors.)
I stared at that pin. I picked it up and put it down. It was sitting with the other jewelry of questionable value on where the cashier sat. Maybe mom wore it a lot or maybe she just wore it during a significant time that had me so closely focused in on it. It’s imbedded within me. I picked it up and put it down. I thought it would fly away.
I walked around the house and picked up other things…and didn’t put them down. 3 grapefruit spoons (they are impossible to find and I love grapefruit!), some old linens (for purposes of the embroidery on them mostly…future projects forever on my mind,) a few decorated styrofoam birds (to place around my studio…inspiration,) and a couple of cases of old tape and reel film (nicely metaphoric for my mixed-media endeavors.)
I don’t know what made me pick up the butterfly and place it back on the cheap portable folding table. Every other item I picked up and kept… in my head I was thinking about the butterfly I left and then, quickly, “mom.”
I wanted to not want it. I wanted to walk away.
But I was afraid of making a final decision and leaving with regret.
Here’s a photo of the day after.
I’ve been busy in my absence. I’ve been remarkably present…painting.
My words are so sparse. They aren’t coming to me like feelings are.
Sadly, I have not been spending many hours trying to figure out Photoshop, or even messing around with Instagram. BUT, I have been busy working!
Yesterday my “night job” duties (the time after my daughter goes to bed for the night) consisted of painting the basement….because! Because it’s in the process of transforming into my studio! Yay!
I’m so excited to have a designated place that might be large enough to become a holding place for the art I crave to do. I have a lot of plans for it, but mostly the plans are open and evolving as I speak. I think I have an area picked out for metalworking and another corner space picked for painting…
It’s exciting to think about, but for now my most used studio supply is elbow grease!
Speaking of, I better get back to it since my daughter is down for nap and time does not hold back!
A whole month since my last post!? No wonder I feel a little shy.
Life With Light has definitely been active with posts within me, though. Ever since my last post when I was exasperated with myself that I couldn’t seem to juggle 10 different full-time jobs, pastimes, and volunteer positions at once and be my daughter’s primary caretaker 150% of the time I have been busy working out a way to make my life feel a little more…well, workable!
It finally dawned on me that all the working women artists in the blog-o-sphere are more than likely not creating sellable art and running a business and cleaning the house and cooking dinner and looking pretty (a.k.a. getting a shower in) and taking care of their child(ren), and staying alive without some help, at least some of the time!
I vow, from here-on-out, to never ever leave the fact that motherhood and artistry co-existing together on an even semi-regular basis does not come without some designated help from somewhere else outside of me. I believe it should be acknowledged, and in an easily accessible place like the “About Me” or “Bio” section so that every desperate new mother/creative who may find me here creating in the future will not beat themselves up for days, months, or years for not somehow sprouting wings and 15 extra pairs of hands and feet to accomplish it all at once all by themselves.
So…since my last post I set about finding some help.
Starting next month, toward the end of June, I will have one dedicated day a week to be in my home studio and perform other developmental creative doings while someone is here to watch and help me care for my little one. I expect these pages will begin to be filled more with my art therapy journey on a more regular basis then.
Until then, I have decided this blog needs a form of CPR. I’ve taken CPR and passed many-several times, so hopefully this will be a success. I am a practiced student of CPR, but I just came up with this idea as I was taking my daughter for a walk at our local park and sneaking in some Instagram photos with my iPhone.
I thought, “I know!” (Good start, right!) … “I know! I’m certain I can at least commit to taking one photo a day that speaks to something connected to my art therapy that I can post on Life With Light.” A daily resuscitation for when I haven’t had the time, space or energy left over from motherhood-ing to create or when whatever I’m working on creatively is not ready to be shared yet.
There is no “Life with Light ” if the Light goes all the way out.
I actually have been very busy, even creatively at times, even with the logistical challenges. I have made a small sculpture, and I am taking sewing classes (awesomeness times infinity!) which has resulted in the completion of half a stuffed cat so far. As it goes, I am currently a little (WAY) slow in the completion of these projects!
But Omg! I didn’t even post about my completed bookshelf yet! I actually finished it and it has been happily doing it’s job for weeks! So I’ll be posting about that soon as well. But that will have to wait for at least tomorrow.
I am going to play catch up (and do a little CPR) by sharing some images I took while I was on my walk with my daughter today as I was thinking about blog-sharing cpr…accompanied even by a little blues, if you like. Enjoy!